Saturday, February 6, 2010

Big Weekend

I been Spectacled

I was taken  to a UGA girls gymnastics meet last night. I consented to go. No money changed hands. It's been a long time since I've been to a spectacle...

A lot has changed in college level athletics. I never knew gymnasts needed had a dance troupe, cheerleaders, flower girls and fireworks, and a light show to compete. The Lady Dawg gymnast stars have attained beauty queen /show girl status.  Costume consists of a garment that my granddaughter couldn't get into at 11 months old. Big bouncy pony tailed hair, face paint stickers of ferocious looking bulldogs and lots of glittery eyelids seem to be necessary to jump, swing, flip etc. No mother I know would have let a daughter sleep in  her own dark room at home 20 years ago looking like that.

Don't get me wrong, they are good gymnasts. I do hope they have film to watch when they are as old as I am, so they can say, " Look  That's Grandma  when she was 20.  Hell, I could jump over tall buildings in a single bound when I was 20.

People yelled and booed. I thought they only did that at football games. The had a scoreboard bigger than than the official time clock at Sanford Stadium when I was a Georgia, and the music so loud I was tempted to put my fingers in my ears. Yet I enjoyed myself.

 I did wonder where the men gymnasts were.. Do Men still play gymnastics? Guess it ain't manly enough in the South.  Afraid the girls would show em up, I guess...fragile male egos and all.

Now there were some things I found troublesome, aside for all the above. Both teams had  a guys in a coat and tie with a big sign that said GEORGIA and KENTUCKY lead them from apparatus to apparatus, (that's what they call the things they play on.)  Do  the girls get lost in a big room with few doors, or is it a way to get two more people in the way on the floor. One girl was an scholastic All American, and she has to be lead to where she's gonna perform?

All the Georgia girls had to have suitcases that were bigger than I would need to travel for 6 month in Australia...and they only walked 50 feet and stayed for half and hour.,,guess they had their lunch and power drink, and stuffed animals in them. The Kentucky girls left theirs in the hotel, or Kentucky couldn't afford suitcases.

The Gym Dawgs won, praise be to's sorta like pro wrastlin... only in the last seconds and by less than a point. DRAMA TENSION. Ho hum.

They then have an "awards ceremony" to give everybody, except the losers, lots of flowers for doing what they are being given a free education to do.

All this seemed orchestrated by a woman in a black dress with lots of makeup, who wasn't even the coach. She was definitely out of place in  6 inch black spike heels walking on tumbling mats.  In my day you were hollered at for wearing "tennis shoes" on a mat. I asked if high heels were customary at gymnastic meets, and was told "at Georgia it is". Everytime somebody did something, they hugged and gushed and got teary eyed and jumped up and they had saved the university from sure disaster. I'm beginning to sound like Andy Griffin, aren't I

All this lead up to   DRUM ROLL,  PLEASE.
The University of Georgia Athletic Director got a raise yesterday, from $400.000 to $560.00.

Now, the best news of the weekend. No, I didn't get a raise but...

I'm playing a square dance with my favorite band, the Georgia Mudcats in the old Colbert gym tonight. It's huge clapboard structure with old wooden bleachers and a time clock with screen wire over it. The gym has  wood  floor they'll let you dance on! No fire works, no canned music, no high drama. All the girls are pretty, and you can dance with any of them, everyone get lots of exercise, and nobody loses!

Come on out to the Colbert gym tonight, and for a lot less money than we spent last night, you can have a great time.

The Friday night before game meal of Chinese was excellent.

1 comment:

  1. Daddy, that's hilarious. And I think Odessa might not fit in a GymDogs costume unless it's made out of spandex. Her belly's a bit on the poochie side.