Thursday, July 15, 2010

The random theory revisited



Upon waking this morning my wife asked me what I was going to do today. A rude awakening indeed.

At least a whole second of possibilities hummed in and out of my foggy brain. This  post is one of the last to emerge, sorta tying up the bundles of sticks I left scattered around the yard in that one second.

The immensity of the 4 or 5 pounds of gray matrix that drives us to act out our allotted time has always given me pause. Since I was a child, I was plagued by juxtaposition.

Should I  let "it" lead me around and see what happens, or should I really try to control, harness and force it to do my bidding.

The former, I call inventive, adventuresome, risky and fun. The latter, is called discipline, responsibility, dedication and boredom.

I decided to let "it" lead me around by the nose. Besides, "it" holds all the cards...what have I got to lose. Hormones, when to use them, and how to make the puppet (us) dance are all controlled by "it", and the genes that help "it" decide what to do next.

I hope I have enjoyed life more than, say, a theoretical mathematician. "It" has trained him in the ways of numbers...he scratches out a living deciding that numbers are strung together in long lines and go on and on...something about "string theory".  He never has the pleasure of laying in the grass looking for castles in the sky just for the fun of it...he has to wonder what his numbers and string have to do with it. Won't ever happen in my allotted time!

Standing in line has caused me much pain...lunch lines, bathroom lines, ticket lines, airlines, plow lines...so I don't do lines. Not standing in lines has opened up a host of new random ideas to approach whatever hits the brain next. The big red NO sign actually sparks in me a host of alternatives, as does the word YES. I gave half a thought to stopping for ice cream the other day. Actually got into the establishment and saw the line and said "naw". I stopped the the gas station for gas, and what do you know? No line. Ice cream!Randomness hits a homer! Keep your eye out and whatever it is will come.

My mother is an English major. "Ain't" and "random" are not pleasant words to her ears. She is 92 and has lived a very full... and fun life. She has achieved a balance of taking random thoughts and applying a "learned" discipline to them in a most entertaining way. She doesn't know she does it and will deny it vehemently, but she really does believe in random actions. The juxtaposition I talked about earlier is alive and well in her...probably where I got my dose.

The study of the workings of the English language actually taught me to communicate with my Mama. I learned to make cottage cheese when cottage cheese wasn't popular with my friends. I don't know why I was interested in making cottage cheese as a 10 year old. She swears I made hot chocolate out of buttermilk once...see what I mean? No sweet milk, make choclate milk out of buttermilk.  I like both...butter milk and choclate. What's not to like?

Randomness is the spice and vinegar of life. No lines, no rules, just immerse yourself in the murky water provided by random thought, and things become clearer, more fun, less hassle. This fresh ways to approach "situations"  causes me to bring forth a new theory. The Theory of Prepositional Option.

The Prepositional Options Theory probably took form during a lesson on the lowly Prepositions as a part of speech given by my Mama late at night when I was probably in the 5th grade  " A preposition is anything you can do to a rock. under, around, in, above, beside, through, blah, blah, blah." 

My brain added run, hide, face, procrastinate, whatever it takes to escape the present unpleasantness. I didn't know English Grammar could be so much fun! I don't do meetings, never did, I don't year a tie, It was created as a badge to identify on as a serf in the sevice to a certain master. I wear only as many clothes as needed for the season, and color and style doesn't matter. You get the picture? Consider anything you don't want to do a Preposition, and do anything to improve your chances to go random. The saying in Australia was Rules are for Fools...and they practice it.

 Most people think I'm eccentric, stubborn, and that my elevator doesn't stop at the top floor. Ah well, boys and girls, my elevator DOESN'T stop on the top floor. My elevator goes on up as high as it takes to keep the Hassle Factor below  5 on a scale of 1 to 10. Hassle Factor is a theory for another day. You have to have at least a few years in an elementary school classroom  or managed a large park on 4th of July to understand Hassel Factor Theory.

Have fun. Think out of the box!
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1 comment:

  1. Pat:

    I studied under Professor Hassel at Georgia Tech back in the '70s.

    //bb

    ReplyDelete