Saturday, November 27, 2010

Black Friday...You Got That Right

The thought of going shopping at 4 in the morning is insane. The people who participate in BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING are not right. These people DO NOT do this  for anyone but themselves. It's really a meeting of ISOA...Insane Shoppers of America.

BFers fly under the radar...the only people who know you are out there are Wal Mart and the people from Gallup Poll. The  bevy of bow head overdressed/madeup  female reporters from the local TV stations are gushing about something..."Back to you, BOB"! The only reason the Gallup Poll people are out there is they are being paid hazardous duty pay. The reason for the dead air at 4:30 in the AM.

I have always been a fan of banning Christmas "ornamentation" until the actual week of Christmas, that's the way we used to do it it at Wayne Shields' Christmas tree until the week of Christmas, and sometimes not until Christmas Eve.

Here are a few reasons to NOT have Decorations/Excessive Celebration that come to mind anyway.

The neighbors won't have to compete/ put up with your tasteless front yard display of vulgar flashing lights and blow up dolls that collapse in a heap all day, making your neighborhood look like the Garbageman never comes to your street.

No decorations improve neighborhood relations. Neighbor will sleep more normally  without the glow and flash of thousands of lights bouncing off their bedroom windows. Christmas make people testy, anyway.

You, and every buisness in the world will help save another MountainTop Farm (RIP) from completely dissapearing off the face of the earth because of the huge profits the power grid can reap from running your stupid  lights.

Municipalities can save thousands in OUR tax money by not putting up cheesy looking street decorations at public expense...making the savings a real Christmas present to the taxpayer.

Long dead, an aging musicians, ASCAP, and Musak will not continue to receive million in royalties for badly sung, inappropriate "holiday" music. Elvis will be dead at last! I think the Hallelujah Chorus should be retired/ banned. Why?  To give the community and church choirs an ultimatum...learn to sing, or forget it.

Insurance Companies, who receive thousands of claims from burnt out houses and car accidents, will be forced to lower our insurance premiums. Why?   Chinese Junk Christmas lights assembled by 3 year old children won't be on the market... and  gawkers at the tasteless Christmas yard art won't hit telephone poles and each other...thus taking millions of adjusters off the streets and bring insurance premiums back to sensible levels.

Finally, no one should die being trampled to get to the Tickle Me Elmo isle...Enough said? indeed it is a Balck Friday. The mechant is the man that gets it all...


  1. As Field Commander of the Madison County Chapter of The COBRAS (Curmudgeonly Ol' Boys Railing Against Stupidity)I offer you my congratulations on a fine blog posting and a complimentary lifetime membership. We meet the third Thursday of every month in front of the new water tower at 7 pm rain or shine. //bob the engineer

  2. You posted this as 7:52 AM....hell, that is up at the butt crack of dawn for you! You might as well have just made a run to Wally World at that hour! You wouldn't have seen me there though.