Saturday, October 22, 2011

Adversarial Relationships



I guess life is full of adversarial relationships. Children/teacher, IRS/taxpayer, banks/customers, husband/wife, Parents/teenagers, cars/owners, cats/dogs.

Most often these relationships are in the natural order of the human genome, I suppose. For instance, it could be said that if it were it not for H and R Block, the IRS tax code would be 1 page long. The common taxpayer could probably handle that. Trouble is nobody likes to pay taxes. The IRS id determined to make sure you do, and make sure you do it right...everytime. In order to give Hand R Block reps something to learn every year, the IRS makes subtle changes to the tax codes, therefore continuing the need for more and more agents, paper and accountants.

Examples abound. Line A. if  subtracted from Line B on form 259671000, revised '09, and added to last year losses for lawn services created by the ratification of the HB 60015 trade bill allowing only imported "O" turn mowers equipped with V blades made in the US of A and operated by monkeys approved by OSHA to replace lawn care specialist lost to immigration is no longer allowed. This deduction can however, be taken by members of specific governmental departments and certain churches and civic organizations in tax year 2015. You will not be notified of changes to this addendum, until further notice. Don't call us, we can't understand it, either.

Gobbledygook, pure and simple.

Accountants do us a disfavor by allowing the IRS to hire millions of people to further muddy the waters of tax codes. The Loop Hole Creation Dept. The Loop Hole Closure Dept. The how many deductions can you take Dept. The you took too many deduction Dept. The how can we further muddy the water Dept. The you owe us money dept (Very Big Division),  The e owe you money Dept. (very small)

Parent/ Teenagers? Not a problem. No you can't get a tattoo. No, you can't wear that in public. No, you can't go with your friends to the beach for a week with no chaperons, your 15 for God's sakes. What were you thinking when you took 30 people out to Mickey D's with my new car? It cost 300 dollars to get the catsup of the upolstery. DO you think? Parent/teens are hopelessly lost in a confusion of cultural change that parents could not imagine when the wee bundle was brought home from the birthing...and babies could only hope would happen 14 years years later. Too bad that part of life is not 20/20 for most parents.

Bank/customer relationships are akin to guerrilla warfare. Banks hire ex cons to figure out how to extract a few pennies a day from every account in the bank, and how to hide fees attached to credit cards not even the IRS could unravel. The "you didn't use your card enough this month so we're charging you a fee".

Every time you put something on a card they charge you interest...lots of interest. Nobody will ever dig out from under the plastic. Even paying it off every month, they'll find a fee to slap on you. We have been convinced that one cannot have money without a bank, any more than a woman can have a baby without a doctor and hospital birthing team.

Most adversarial relationships we've done to ourselves though inattention, greed, desire, and just being born with a huge capacity for naivete. There truly are suckers born every minute. If it sounds too good to be true, it is. Don't take no wooden nickel.  Man don't lie, ain't got nothing to say.  If the shoe fits, wear it. Ah, folk idiom. Ben Franklin did indeed start a movement. Trouble is that everybody says things like that, but nobody needs the advice. It's always someone else's fault. Computer error...being the biggest scapegoat these days.

We have public awareness squished into Fox and CNN. Some of talking heads, pundits, so to speak have a very limited view of the world. As long a 24 hours of TV time are paid by sponsors of pet food and babybuttwipes. they'll keep spinning. Turn the TV Stations off at midnight, like they used to, and let's wait till something happens. Who wants to know about someones new face lift?  Go get some sleep, guys.

My prediction is that there is one adversarial relationship that is going to sink the ship. The one we have going on with Mother Nature. We done got too big for out britches, and like most Mama's. She don't play when she ain't happy. Winter's coming on.

Just the doomsayer in me coming out this morning. I'm really not in a bad mood, but you have to think about something when you plant garlic...or you'd lose your mind, and waste is a terrible thing to mind...did I get that right?

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