Monday, February 10, 2014

OD Georgia, You've got and other chance

As someone so sagely said just before the election of King Bush, the Twoth, for his second term, which was again contested..."OK, Florida,God has given you another chance to get it right". Of course, they didn't get it right, but they were not alone. Other states tried to declare themselves equally inept at pulling off elections.

"OK Georgia, God has given ya'll another chance to handle two inches of snow." Other Southern States seem to deal with it somehow. Hell, they've had snow in Mississippi, and I haven't heard a cry of despair from those quarters.

 Georgia will attempt to finally deal with the white stuff, and "hard water" once again, as the weatherpersons, mostly blonde in funny clothes prance around and say the sky is falling.. There seems to be a lot of posturing and 'pologizing and a firm 'termination to get it right this time. My feeling is that, starting after rush hour in Atlanta tonight, the State of Georgia will officially shut down...no school no services. no nothing until Thursday morning, maybe Friday, if someone can find a patch of black ice in North Georgia.

Of course this whole scenario will play out on "dunce cap" TV "news" in front of millions. Most from above the Mason Dixon Line will watch for entertainment value as Southern residents are interviewed, and declare "OMG, it's snowing, the sky really is falling!".

Last week, the Supervisors of Southern Winters left us in our own custody, and took a long weekend to the Bahamas. They were whooping it up on the beach with a Corona Light, when the jealous Gods of the Northern Sector of the US Winter Weather Program, purposely left the gate open on the South 40, and a very small 2" snow storm got out and did it's best to act like a big kid. He out did himself. The Elders were right proud of the Hell he raised in Georgia and the little guy got an A+ on his performance, despite the fact he didn't squeeze out much snow.. They praised him up and down for playing a good practical joke on his Uncles vacationing in the Bahamas.

The snow kept everyone away from the Grocery Chains and Big Box stores, as most were sleeping in their cars on the Interstate. Now, other maligned retailers are demanding  a second chance to cash in on what they missed last week...huge profits. How much Ice Melt do you need in the South. A box household salt in stead of a 25 pound bag would do. Go look in the garage.

 This new frenzy started with the news last night; 48 hours before the weather event is supposed to happen.

"Don't forget the Bread, Milk, and bottled water (what did we do before bottled water?). There is Miracle Ice Melting Salt  available at most street corners for 10.00 a 5 lb bag from your favorite "dealer". Flash lights, batteries, lamp oil, bagged fire wood, and Diet Coke with be hot items. Everyone should have a full tank of gas for there next commute. A spokes person for the oil companies say they have worked overtime raising prices for this event, and we have gas, isn't that nice!

The Carpetbaggers, weather prognosticators, state govern-ment officials will have a chance to make this
winter weather event and economic boom for all. Gov. Nathan Deal cannot say "I did not hear about this one."

Typical reaction from the locals around here:

"Hotdam, geewhiz, we is gettin' a paid vacation day. Hope the lectricity don't give out so we can watch them winter O- lympics. Them people is crazy. Jes see them boys going down that big hill on them skis? They say they was runnin' 80 miles anour. Reckon where they learned to do all that stuff. Ain't none of 'em from  around here, I bet, specially them girls on them boards."

Well guys, it ain't exactly a paid vacation if you count the $400.00 you put on the credit card for this day off...groceries, gas, popcorn, lamp oil, ice melt, a sled, two snow tires, and another 90 minutes on your pay as you go cell phone, case Momma and nem's gets snowed in.

Hunker down, boys  and girls another 2 inches of white stuff and hard water is coming.

Think I'll hivernate with one of them ground hogs.

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