Sunday, February 22, 2015

Shopping...I Had No Idea...

I went shopping with my wife yesterday and today. Not a common occurrence. We are looking at floor coverings for our Mighty Fine Double Wide Trailer House. (MFDW, for the acrimoniously inclined.).

We have razzed the inside of this MFDW. The 18 year old carpet is GONE. Hell may freeze before it rots, seeing there is nothing "natural about" trailer carpet. The only thing standing in the living room, dining room and den is one little ole tiny support post. I really don't know that it's supporting anything, but I left it for a back scratching post. Too damn cold outside to use my scratching post tree.

I have never been one to look for floor covering. I sorta' go for dirts and grasses my ownself. I was shocked to find that there were more choices than the traditional carpet, linoleum, vinyl/ceramic tile and wood. I was fascinated when I found ceramicists are now make wood grained ceramic tile flooring...and it looks like wood. Don't believe Ga Mudcats Pottery will be making wood grained tiles, so don't ask.

They have all kinds of floating floor, click together floors, engineered materials, laminated flooring, composite flooring: the list goes on. Education is indeed exciting, expensive and stressful.

I was looking at a display picture bamboo flooring...and right under the picture was a sample piece. I'm not a Panda Bear, but it sure looked like bamboo; the prettiest thing on the rack. Now tell me, people, where does bamboo grow big enough to make flooring. I'm gonna' have to research this one.

My MFDW is a test pad for this Bamboo flooring. How tough is it? We'll see.
Aha! Bamboo flooring is made from bamboo, mostly from China (surprise surprise!). It is a grass that can grow up to a hundred feet tall. It is mashed flat and mixed with glue and fused under high pressure. End of research.

After shopping for 12 hours in two days, Janice Faye and I ended up with that bamboo flooring cheaper than any of the other wood, plastic and cardboard materials. Could have just walked in that store first and saved a lot of time.

The next item was something  to put in the MFDW entrance doorways. I am a slob. We're potters and farmers, so our life revolves around  lots of gray clay, brown and red dirt. Shop Vacs come to die at our house. I figured we could just get a nice dirt colored tile..a little brown, tan, green and red. Wrong. No one seems to be into dirty solid colors any more. Orange, red, purple stripy with fushia overtones, anyone? I know where teens get their lack of style now.

I guess redneck cultural lack of taste has come to roost in the Home Decor stores of America. Who designs this stuff, and how does it find it's way into mainstream thinking. Are we really a nation of sheeps...with no sense of design and style? One is given lots of choices in the home decor market; none of them great. Sadly, I saw evidence that shag carpet throw rugs are coming back. That says a lot...are Leisure Suits and double knit next?

We settled on a natural slate from India. Had to go halfway around the world to find something we liked. It's probably mined by Himalayan Yeti. I'm not sure it'll work out. The colors are beautiful and I like it, so I'm gonna' give it a try. Probably wear out another Shop Vac getting the flaky stuff up till it stops shedding, if it does. The other entrance is Travertine stone 18x18 tiles. It was actually cheaper than many of the ceramic tiles out there.

Importantly, all are sustainable materials. One takes 5 years to grow. The others? 5 million years...give or take a few years.

It took most of Friday and Saturday to Get R Done, as the bumper sticker says. The lesson here is that shopping ain't good for men's constitutions, or their pocketbooks. I've had thoughts about a train robbery to replenish the coffers, but they ain't no trains handy. Been watching too many cowboy movies. Guess I'm gonna' have to start panning for gold in the creek below the house. I better go to the Land Office and stake my claim. See ya.

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