The Wise Men, Angels, Shepherds, Stables and More….

 If Walt Disney had been alive, the Christmas Story could not have been more embellished. Folklore is like that. Oral tradition is a powerful storyteller. Events lose and gain something in the retelling. Without further ado I will add my “personalize” version of the more human side of the CHRISTMAS STORY. Dangerous territory, but here goes.

Kings were rulers most all countries 2,021 years ago. A King’s hold on power was only as good his message and method of maintaining that power. Kings want to keep subjects happy.

 There came to be a bright star that rose in the East, bright even in daylight.  The star was worrisome to the public as wild rumors and speculation gave way to mild public panic. Rulers never want the herd to panic. Stampedes are big trouble.

 There were amongst those who did the Kinging that decided something to assuage public fears much be done. The star thing needed to go away. In three different lands, three Kings called in their most trusted advisors: the Wise Men. These were given a mission. Find the light and put it out.

 I have it on dubious hearsay that Fox News reported that the searchers themselves were the Kings not Wisemen, as reported by fake news. In my fact checking Kings DO NOT go wandering around in the desert in the middle of winter chasing a star! They stay home and do the Kinging. That’s what kings do.

 The mission given the Wisemen was to find the light and put it out. The court would spin would publish a message that a delegation appointed by the Royal Court had things under control. The spin was successful. The respective kings spared no expense outfitting the excursion. A large parade with Elephants and dignitaries gave fanfare as the expeditions departed. 

Was this the first International Geophysical Scientific Expedition, as three countries were undertaking the same mission? Putting out a star was a tall order for any Expedition.

 I first heard of the mysterious Star from Carl Sagan. He postulated the source was an exploded Super Nova whose light had taken millions of light years to reach our eyeballs. Educated guess? I think old Carl was on his game. To the Wisemen, ignorance was bliss. They had no idea the light was off millions of years ago. It was only now reaching Earth.

 The three Wisemen, Balthasar, Melchior, and Gaspar, didn’t know each other until they met at an Oasis in Egypt. They were not a suspicious lot; and soon each disclosed their mission to one another. After some deliberation they decided to join forces. After all, they were after the same result. To boot, in those days there was safety in numbers. The three caravans joined together.

 The plot thickens…

 It has been documented in Amal, and the Night Visitors (look it up if you are not familiar with the story) that Balthasar, Melchior, and Gaspar, were the afore said Wisemen. 

It happened thus...

After a long day in the saddle, the Wisemen stopped at poor peasant cottage in the middle of nowhere. Here they met Amal, a small cripple boy, full of questions. He also knew as much about the star as the Wise Men: basically nothing. The boy had a great imagination and spun stories that drove his widowed mother to distraction. Amal convinced the gullible Melchior to take him on the quest as an interpreter. The mother agreed. Amal took along his little drum and secured a place in history.

 At some point the entourage came upon some shepherd that were out of sorts and “sore afraid”, whatever that means. When questioned, they said they had been awakened that night by "apparitions" singing loudly and imploring them to go to Bethlehem and pay their taxes. This story was loosely translated by Amal to the Wisemen. Who know what he told them?

Personally, I feel all that apparition business might have been the Emperor's Mounted Camel Patrol, dressed in white robes, sitting 10 feet above the ground on camels admonishing the shepherds to go pay their taxes.

Where were the sheep all this time? 

After a skin of wine supplied by the Wise Men, the shepherds calmed down and embellished their story. Melchior concluded the apparitions were “angels” and the “music on high” was really the braying of asses, bleating of sheep, howling of wolves, and bellowing of Camels. Nothing to worry about. The mission must not be compromised. Onward!

Melchior later confided he had made up the word “angels”. It seemed to calm the "sore afraid" shepherds. The word rolled off the tongue, explained the apparition phenomena and calmed fears. After all, the whole countryside was “ate up” up with curiosity as to what was going on with that great night light in the East? West? Where exactly is Bethlehem? Ah, where was GPS when you need it.

 There were other forces at work.

 The Roman Emperor Augustus was hurting financially. He needed a bail out. His Wise Financial Planner (WFP) told him the best way to raise money was to tax his subject some more. A risky plan. The spin doctors convinced Augustus that having people go to place of birth to pay taxes would be a smart move. It could be called a “taxing holiday”. A reason to visit family and friends in the old hometown. This would soften the blow of paying more taxes.

  “Not a bad idea”, said the emperor, “glad I thought of that”.

The little town of Bethlehem began to look Woodstock NY in 1969. A massive a tent city was growing on the outskirts of town and in the narrow streets, donkeys brayed, dogs barked, kids cried, cattle bawled, and pick pockets did a brisk business. This was becoming a true holiday circus, with all the trimmings. Folks were there to pay taxes, visit with family, talk about the strange light in the East and get out of town before the emperor wanted something else.

Arriving in Bethlehem, the shepherds found family relatives, the caravan went to the tent city, and Amal was sent to search for lodgings for the Wisemen. There were no vacancies in Bethlehem. Amal was sent out again. He came back to report the enterprising stable owner has converted some of the stalls into makeshift rooms for the overflow crowds. Balthasar slipped the Stable Master a few shekels, and just like today, money talks. The Wise Men got preferential floor space at inflated prices.

 The Wise Men and their new shepherd friends went out for food and drink that evening. Upon returning to the stable they were taken aback by the pale blue light glowing there.  The Star’s beautiful glow was hovering over a very pregnant woman in labor. It would prove to be a long and eventful night for man and beast alike. 

 There are no records as to the fate of the Wise Men. My guess is they were smart enough to figure it was not safe to return to their respective kings with news the King of Kings had been born in Bethlehem and Peace on Earth a growing social movement. Melchior certainly did not want reports of Flying People, i.e. Angels, and animals talking and singing in a stable to be his legacy.

 Did the star just disappear when the Baby Jesus was born? So many questions. I’m sure that in the 2,021 years of retelling the story, the star must have been accounted for. Does it still shine today? The universe is full of surprises.

 So, may this fanciful folkloric rendition of the Christmas Story bring a smile. They were freshening times. The human element must not be forgotten in our rich oral history. 

Enjoy the Holidays. Be careful out there. Omicron is lurking!